The Care Company

empowered caregiving™

Put Systems and Procedures in Place.
There is not just one way to manage caregiving. Different things work for different people, however, you CANNOT and WILL NOT survive if you do nothing. Setting up your caregiving system, the one that works for you will set you on your personal path to becoming resilient. You do not have to do it all at once. Actually, if you try to do everything at once, you will become overwhelmed and end up right back where you began. Try to do one or two (at the most) new things at a time.

Be Informed.
Worry and anxiety happen when we don’t have enough information. Get educated and stay informed. Information empowers you. If you are really uncertain about what to do, The Care Company is the perfect place to get educated; get help; and become Empowered!

Be clear about what you can and cannot do.
There are always alternatives and there are solutions to every problem. We get stuck doing the same thing when we don’t like the alternatives. You may not be able to accommodate your loved one each and every time your presence is requested. You may not be able to make all doctors’ appointments. You might have to have someone else step in and help out.

The problem arises when your loved one protests about this and you feel guilty. This is the rub as no one likes to feel guilty. We do everything possible to avoid this feeling. If you have your support system in place then someone else can step in and help out. The question is; Can you manage the guilt? Can you put it in its place? If you have made other arrangements for your loved one, then Armageddon is not going to happen if you can’t be present. You must learn to manage your guilt; set up systems and procedures that work for everyone and know, really know that if your loved one is safe, then the guilt and the angst and the frustration will subside and eventually, the conflict will leave.

Manage the daily tasks.
The daily tasks and chores that accompany caregiving can be overwhelming. When you look at all you have to do, it often feels impossible. Do not try to do everything in one day. For example, you can laundry and errands one morning of the week. You can pay bills twice a month. Schedule doctor’s appointments sporadically or several in one day if your loved one can handle it. We encourage you to keep a notebook. The Care Company has created a complete and organized notebook for you. Visit the Store and order The Empowered Caregiving Manual today. Organization and breaking out your tasks into smaller doses will help you manage the overwhelming feelings that accompany caregiving.

Focus on Today.
This is all we have. Caregivers spend unnecessary time worrying about the future. You can’t control the future, you can only (partially) control today. For today, live in the moment. Embrace the compassionate act of caregiving. Your life will be inordinately better if you train yourself to do this.

Stop Trying to be Perfect!
This is just a waste of time. You aren’t perfect and you don’t have to be. Do the best you can at any given time and cut yourself some slack.

Get Help!
Use your resources, your support group; hire an outside caregiver; find a good handyperson to do chores; get help with transportation; but get help. It’s amazing how many caregivers think they have to do everything alone. It’s also amazing how many caregivers do everything alone because they don’t want to spend time finding good people to help. Find help through local resources, religious and cultural communities. Help is everywhere, but you need to locate it and ask. (See Resources.)

Take Time Off.
Plan your schedule as far in advance as possible and make time for yourself. Your support team should include relief for you and you MUST schedule it. This is a MUST, not an “I need to.”

Maintain a Sense of Humor.
When we get caught up in worry and challenges, we lose our ability to laugh. There are funny moments in caregiving and it’s okay to laugh about them. Spend time laughing with your loved one. Find things to do that will make you smile, entertain and bring relief. Laughter eases stress. Schedule things to do that you KNOW will make you laugh. This is life. Stop being so serious.

Get it Out!
It is normal to feel frustration, sadness, sorrow, guilt, anger, and even some depression. These feelings are all part of the caregiver journey. You need to embrace your feelings and find a way to express them or better yet, send them packing! Whatever you do, don’t stuff your feelings. You must honor and respect all that is happening for you. If these feelings continue for days on end, you must seek medical help.

Get Rest, Calm Down and Relax. Sleep if You Can.

Sleep is challenging for caregivers. Even though you are often exhausted, sleep eludes you. When we live a life full of worry, negative emotions creep in and it’s difficult to quiet the brain. The brain gets activated when the body gets quiet. However, the body needs rest and sleep. As a caregiver you must find ways to relax, calm down and ultimately sleep. In The Care Company Empowered Caregiver Manual, an entire section is dedicated to caring for the caregiver. (The manual is available in The Store.)

Celebrate Your Accomplishments.
By celebrating your accomplishments, you focus on the numerous things you’ve done to care for your loved one. Feel good about all that you do. Spend time thinking about this every day and you’ll keep guilt and regret at bay.

Be Grateful.
When we are exhausted, it’s hard to be grateful and see blessings. But blessings abound and moments are clothed in grace. There is so much to be grateful for when we give to another person. You have the gift of spending time with someone who needs you and even if it doesn’t appear that your loved one is grateful, know in your heart that he/she cannot even begin to describe the comfort of having you present.

Nurture Your Spirituality.
For each of us, this is a different practice. Some people spend time praying in a religious institution. Some people meditate. Some people spend time in nature. Whatever your practice is, you need to spend time nurturing your spirituality. The most successful and Empowered Caregivers are those who embrace the mind, body and soul.

Bear Witness.
It’s okay if your loved one isn’t always kind. It’s okay if your loved one says things just to make you feel guilty or uncomfortable. It’s okay if your loved one doesn’t show appreciation. You do not have to own any of the feelings that often accompany this behavior. How you handle this is your choice. We choose how someone makes us feel. You can’t know how someone else is feeling. You can’t understand the fear or the sadness that accompanies each individual’s journey into sickness and old age. You can’t change what is. Bear witness and just BE okay with the events that unfold.