Quality of Life
Change is difficult for most people, but especially the elderly. They rely on consistency and stability. Because so much about their physicality or cognitive abilities are changing, it is imperative that a routine be established in the house.
Day-to-Day Living
Each day should begin at approximately the same time and other daily tasks should follow in the same order, i.e. breakfast at a certain time, nap time, exercise, snacks, lunch, television shows, and reading. Whatever fills the day should be scheduled and shared with the senior. This is especially true if the senior is having a difficult time remembering. Surprises cause anxiety.
Do not, under any circumstances, think that unannounced doctor visits or appointments or even social visitors will be met with an affable attitude. Flexibility is not part of the aging process. Be gentle and casual, and simply state what will be happening on a daily basis. If nothing is scheduled, then the senior will assume that it is a normal day at home. Generally speaking, this creates a sense of calm. Too many new situations cause anxiety. Do not think that you need to fill the day with activities. Sometimes peace and quiet combined with comfort are all that are needed.
A good idea is to record outings and the senior’s reaction to them. If you find something that brings pleasure, by all means schedule it again, soon. Keep track of doctor appointments that bring the most angst. When you revisit the same doctor, you will be able to let the office know in advance so they will be able to create a calm and caring environment for their patient. It is your responsibility to create an environment that is as stress free as possible. This is easily done with advance preparation and taking the time to communicate.
Personal Interests
A senior’s life is comprised of a wealth of history, traditions, customs, beliefs, and special interests. If at all possible, it is vitally important to nurture and continue to make these activities a part of life. Imagine how difficult it would be for you if you could not visit with friends, worship as you want, or spend time in a social environment. It’s possible that your loved one might not be able to play a round of golf any longer, but you can make it possible for him/her to visit friends at the golf course. If your mother likes to shop and go to lunch, get creative and make it happen as often as possible.
Religious beliefs and customs are part and parcel of life for many seniors. Whether it’s church, synagogue, mosque, or another place of worship, find a way for your loved one to continue a spiritual practice. Even if it’s a quiet meditation in a garden each day, schedule this into the daily or weekly plan.
If the senior has certain hobbies or passions, make a record of this (see appendix for form) so that anyone from the outside will know what those interests or hobbies are. Engaging the senior in personally enjoyable activities keeps the spirit alive and the brain active. For example: Bob had a huge world map on the wall of his office and he would take any new person into the room and show them all the places he had traveled with his wife of sixty-two years. His face lit up and, after he visited the map, he wanted to look at photo albums. He truly came alive during these times.
You have to figure out what is going to make a difference. It might be photos or books or movies or music; but if you can bring the past to life, the result is peace and comfort.
