The Care Company

empowered caregiving™

With the advancements in modern medicine, Americans are living long lives, and while this may be miraculous, for millions of Americans, this astounding growth has taken the act of caregiving for a loved one from a  historically temporary situation, to a new life stage called caregiving that can and does now last decades.

It is estimated that over sixty million Americans are providing some type of daily care for a family member or friend.  Sixty five percent of persons with long-term care needs rely exclusively on family and friends to provide assistance, and it is estimated that 59 to 75 percent of those providing the care are married women working outside of the home. While men do provide assistance, female caregivers spend as much as 70 percent more time providing care than males.

So the questions are, how do we survive this life stage? How do we manage to have rich and full lives for our families and ourselves? How do we manage to not get lost in the process? How do we manage to not live our life in crisis and ultimately, how do we survive caregiver burnout?

If you are suffering from caregiver burnout, it’s time for you to experience renewal. This will require a fresh perspective, a shift in your thinking and the internal acceptance that your life matters as much as anyone else’s. If this feels like too much, read no further and continue living your life in crisis. However, if the whole idea of renewal appeals to you, then let’s get started.

Just like you, I have been a caregiver for both my ex father-in-law, his wife, my father and now – once again for my mother. I was thrown into this life without one minute of preparation or training and found, very quickly that I was drowning. I had a fulltime career, a family to care for, a daughter to send off to college and a rich and fulfilling life. My life was working well for me, and I was completely unprepared for the realities of caregiving, mainly because I never developed a plan and, I thought I could do it better than anyone else. What I have learned in the last decade is that it is never too late to adapt, alter and adjust your life so that it works for you and for those you love and care for.

Are you suffering from caregiver burnout? Have you lost interest in seeing friends and family? Do you have feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and irritability? Do you suffer from insomnia? Has your health declined or your weight fluctuated? These are just a few of the symptoms of caregiver burnout, and if you are experiencing them, you must get help. In my experience creating and implementing a well-planned system goes far in avoiding burnout. This is YOUR plan and you need to take time to care for yourself and ask for help. The following points helped me manage my life and feel good about my care giving role.

• You need to be realistic about the illness you are confronting.  Chances are good that you cannot fix what is wrong. Your role is to help make life manageable for your loved one – not to be a healer.
• Set realistic goals and turn to others for relief with certain tasks. When was the last time you asked anyone for help?
• Explore/research respite care services and options. Your local community can assist you with this. Hospitals also offer services and classes.
• Educate yourself, take the time to research, and learn. There is a plethora of information available.

What can you do for yourself?

• Schedule time to be alone. This is not a luxury, but a necessity.
• If you feel your life is spinning out of control, talk to a professional.
• Eat healthy food. Do some form of exercise and get plenty of rest. Know when it’s okay to turn off the phone and be quiet.
• Pamper yourself. Take a bath; a long shower; spend time in nature; tap into your own spirituality and ask for help.
• If you don’t have a good support system in place, try joining a caregiving support group. Support groups help you manage stress, locate resources and provide a venue to reduce feelings of frustration and isolation. Just make sure that you don’t get stuck in a pity party. Find a group that helps you resolve some of your troubling issues and one that helps you feel Empowered!
• Spend time with us at The Care Company. Sign up for our free Ezine and take part in our community. 
• Caregiving is rewarding, but there will be times when you will also feel anger, sadness, frustration and grief. Try not to judge your feelings. They are neither good nor bad, but rather a normal part of being human. Embrace them…honor them…and feel them. It is only when we stuff our feelings that they begin screaming at us.

This is hard work, filled with numerous demands, and many caregivers lose perspective about the importance of their role and feel guilty if they spend time on themselves. You cannot care for another person if you do not care for yourself. Embrace the idea that your role as a caregiver is vital to our society. You are engaged in the ultimate service – giving of yourself to another person. Honor your role and honor yourself.