Category: Inspiration

Is Living in Caregiver Overwhelm Wrecking Your Life?

Posted May 8th, 2012 by Cindy Laverty

I’ve had a full day of calls with caregivers who are really struggling, not with just one area of their lives, but with the physical demands; the emotional tug and pull at their hearts; and the void of spirituality in their lives. How can you experience spirituality when you can barely get out of bed in the morning?

My heart aches for each person I spoke to today. (Each person had scheduled a Breakthrough Caregiver Overwhelm Session with me.) Not because of the caregiving per se, but because each one of these beautiful women began the journey as we all do…giving of ourselves to help a loved one in need. And ever so slowly…day by day…hour by hour…one day we wake up and we realize that we have abandoned our own life in the process of caregiving, and that is when the terror, sadness, sorrow, panic and frustration set in. Sadly by the time this happens, you are so caught up in your caregiver duties that you have no idea how to even begin to figure out what to do to change your circumstances. I made a video about this very thing a while ago and if you missed it, here it is again.

But the message I want to impart today is that you have to be serious about YOU! You have to be serious about your life and you have to either figure it out for yourself or get some help. There really are no other options. The problem though, is that most family caregivers either think they don’t need help or the BIGGER and most prevalent issue is, that they don’t think they deserve any help. And that’s the heart-breaking part, thinking that nothing will work and that you don’t deserve to get help…that somehow you would know how to manage this journey through caregiving.

Here’s the thing…the challenges you face are YOURS! If you have convinced yourself that your situation is unique and different and that no one will help you, then you are doomed. You can’t be a 24/7 caregiver for years on end…you can’t do it without help, but somehow you have managed to convince yourself that you have to. I’ve worked with hundreds of caregivers and I hear the same story over and over again, but I am here to tell you that something magical happens the day you realize that are ways to do this, recover your life, welcome it home with open arms and stop living in complete overwhelm. You CAN do this without turning your back on your loved one. I have a special report to share with you. It’s 10 Keys to Reclaiming Your Life Without Turning Your Back on Your Loved One and it’s only available here. It won’t cost you a cent…but it just might save your life. And while I’m writing this post, I just have to ask you this question: What if you decided that you were worth investing in…what would that feel like for you? Can you find your way to LOVE yourself enough to move out of overwhelm?

Leave your thoughts below. I'd love to hear from you.

Permission to Feel Good

Posted April 30th, 2012 by Cindy Laverty

When you are caregiver, some days it's impossible to feel good or be happy about anything. Some days you have just had it! Right? We've all had those days. I found that what I needed was someone to give me a hug...tell me I was doing a good job and even give me permission to feel okay. I don't know why it worked, but it did. So for today and tomorrow and the next day if you need it....

I want to give you permission to feel good today - even if everything isn't perfect in your life. And guess what... When you allow yourself to feel good, you immediately increase your vibration and become more attractive to the good things you desire...

So go ahead - feel good today!!!

It’s Okay…

Posted April 17th, 2012 by Cindy Laverty

I recently posted this article in my newsletter and it got an amazing response. I thought I’d share it here.

Is there something in the air? In the last two weeks, I’ve received a lot of “911 phone calls” from family caregivers who are almost at their wits end. This is what happens when we take on too much and we have more than we can handle and we try and do it all alone. Eventually overwhelm creeps in and then it takes over. What troubles me is how so many caregivers spend so much time beating themselves up for not knowing what to do. How could you possibly know this? You did not receive a PhD in Caregiving and your loved one poses challenges that you don’t have the answers to. And you know what? It’s Okay if you don’t have all the answers. And that led me on a mission to create “Cindy’s It’s Okay” list.

Here are some things that are okay.

It’s okay to be scared.
It’s okay to be angry, lost, sad and even depressed.
It’s okay to lose your patience.
It’s okay that you don’t want to sacrifice your whole life for someone else. And you shouldn’t.
It’s okay that sometimes your self-esteem feels damaged.
It’s okay that you make mistakes.
It’s okay that you don’t know how to do everything.
It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers.
It’s okay that you don’t have a cure.
It’s okay that you’re not there all the time.
It’s okay that you sometimes have extreme feelings towards the person for whom you are caring.
It’s okay that you lost your temper.
It’s okay that you had to apologize.
It’s okay that you’re afraid.
It’s okay that you can’t get everything done in a day.
It’s okay that you have guilt. All caregivers have guilt.
It’s okay that you have compassion fatigue.
It’s okay you feel trapped.
It’s okay that you took a few days for yourself.
It’s okay that you vented to your spouse or friend.

All of these things are absolutely okay. How you manage them is going to make the difference between becoming an Empowered Caregiver or staying in a place of hopelessness.

Here are some things that are NOT okay.

It’s not okay that you feel like you have to do everything yourself.
It’s not okay that you feel like an indentured servant.
It’s not okay that you are ignoring your personal needs.
It’s not okay that you are ignoring friends and social activities.
It’s not okay that asking for help paralyzes you.
It’s not okay that you don’t have a plan in place.
It’s not okay to feel helpless and hopeless for days on end.
It’s not okay that you have stopped doing activities you once loved.
It’s not okay that you are afraid to say “no” or “not now.”
It’s not okay that your siblings don’t help you.
It’s not okay that you don’t have boundaries in place.
It’s not okay that you feel unappreciated by your family.
It’s not okay that you have lost pride in what you are doing for another human being.
It’s not okay to sacrifice your financial security.
It’s not okay that you do everything your loved one wants; especially when the demands can be outrageous.
It’s not okay that you don’t sleep or eat properly.
It’s not okay that you are constantly exhausted when help is available, if you would only seek it.
It’s not okay that you are sacrificing your personal health for another.
It’s not okay that you are constantly trying to fix everything that is wrong.
It’s not okay that you are living your life in crisis.

If any of the above rings true for you, then decide right now that you will get the help you need. Decide that you will live your life in a better way. Decide that you will take the necessary steps to ask for and get answers to the challenges that you are facing. Decide today that you are worth the time, energy and investment to survive, thrive and become an Empowered Caregiver. And if you want to receive my newsletter…go here.

What’s Your Story?

Posted April 12th, 2012 by Cindy Laverty

Do you ever wonder why some people have an easier time being a caregiver? Do you ever wonder what they do differently? It's the story that you tell yourself around caregiving. If you approach caregiving from a heart-centered place instead of one of obligation and dread, you have a very different story. So what's your story and how do you need to change it?