You don’t have to bring all of these items. They are only suggestions.

• A couple of pairs of pajamas or nightgowns
• Lightweight robe
• Slippers with rubber sole and a back. (No slip-ons)
• Several pair of underwear
• Cozy socks for bed (The rehab facility provides socks but they aren’t very cozy.)
• A soft blanket from home (be sure to label)
• Bring pillows from home. (Be sure to keep track of them.)
• Soft pillow cases
• Favorite photos
• Favorite music and a CD player to listen
• Favorite DVD’s and Portable DVD player
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Electric razor
• Deodorant
• Facecloths – (most likely not available)
• Face and body lotion
• Chapstick or something for lips
• Comb/Brush
• Dry shampoo
• Hearing aids and extra batteries
• Small bills or change in case your loved one wants to purchase something not provided
• Cell phone and charger
• Address Book or Phone List
• Dentures
• Prescription glasses
• Consider bringing in favorite food if a special diet has not been ordered

You must have a conversation with the doctor first to learn all the reasons why going to a rehab facility is absolutely necessary. Watch this video because I’m going to tell you exactly what to do. 

Here’s the exact smoothie that I made for Bob and he loved it! I also make this for my mom most mornings and have peace of mind knowing she’s getting a major dose of nutrients!

*You need to purchase a blender if you don’t already own one.

Here’s what you do: 

Add frozen organic peaches and pineapple to the blender.(Use frozen so you don’t have to dilute your smoothie with ice.) Next add ½ of a banana (filled with potassium). Squeeze the juice of ½ lemon. (Make sure to omit the seeds.)

Add 1 scoop of Brown Rice Protein Powder. (It’s easily digestible. You can also use Pea Protein Powder. Whey is harder on the digestive system. (See above for my favorite brand. I use Vanilla flavor.)

Next  add some high-quality organic Greek Yogurt. (about ½ cup). I use Fage. (see photo.) Add about 1 cup (depending upon the thickness you prefer) of Almond Milk to the blender. (If allergic to nuts, then don’t use this. Use Rice Milk (plain or vanilla).

Throw in some ground flax seeds (high in Omega 3’s). The ones I use are pictured above.  If you want to add an extra punch of nutrients, add a Persian cucumber, celery stalk and maybe some Italian parsley. (Not everyone will like the greenish color of the smoothie, but you won’t be able to taste the veggies. I promise! If your loved one is on Coumadin, then green stuff is out.)

Now blend for about 30-45 seconds. This single smoothie is full of nutrients. Serve in small amounts as it is filling. It’s a great snack as well.

Here’s to good health. By the way….this also really good for YOU – the CAREGIVER!

 Caregiving and football are similar. When you are caregiver, you are the leader of the team. The success or failure of this journey rests on your shoulders; and it’s a heavy responsibility. Your team consists of the person needing care, doctors, nurses, accountants, lawyers, family members, outside forces, a home to keep in tact, prescription medicine, dietary needs, organization, insurance claims, and any surprises that might present themselves to you along the way. It’s a very complicated team and it doesn’t always operate as a unified force; in fact usually, it doesn’t.  So imagine what happens when someone tries to do caregiving ALONE – with no team in place; with no family support; with no outside help; without communicating with doctors; without asking for help. Imagine what that is like. I’m betting most people reading this can very well imagine, because most people have never set up a TEAM!

 Here’s the thing: it’s not easy to get a good team in place; let alone a great team. It takes time, energy, persistence, clarity, a willingness to lead and an ability to bend and change as needed. It requires you to not take “no” for an answer. It requires you to say “I love you” when you are the most frustrated. It demands that you hold up in the face of adversity. It calls upon you when you think you have nothing left, but you find out you do. It requires  that you be the ultimate leader. Setting up your support team when you are a caregiver will save your health, your emotional strength and your physical stamina. It will save your life. I know, because I tried to do caregiving alone and I almost lost my life. And then I put a team in place and I worked with my team and I trusted that my team would be there for me and in effect, I won the Super Bowl…my Super Bowl, but we won. We all won. Our season lasted for six years, 365 days a year, 24/7 care and we didn’t have an off season. We showed up and we played every day. We showed up and we did our best every day. We showed up because we worked cooperatively as a team. We didn’t have to be perfect; we just had to show up and do our best. And when our season ended we knew that we had played our hearts out; given it our all; gave the best we had to give to someone who needed our help and we felt like winners in our own Super Bowl of caregiving.

 Caregiving is easier when you have a TEAM and yes, caregiving IS a lot like football. 

 She was one of my parent’s dearest friends. What made her so special was the way she made you feel when you were in her presence. You felt like you were the only person in the room. She looked into your eyes and engaged you in conversation. She wanted to know all about YOU. She asked questions and she listened to the answer. She was a beautiful woman and her spirit lives on in her daughters and her grandchildren. She had a smile that lit up a room and you just felt better knowing that she was there.

 The last time I saw her was at my father’s memorial service in December 2010 and I promised her that my mother and I would have lunch with her in the New Year. We never did, not because I didn’t want to, but because time gets away from us and we get caught up in our own lives and then we forget. It happens every day. Someone crosses our mind and we make a mental note to call the next day and make a plan. And then the cycle begins again and we never make the call. I didn’t even know that she was ill and I read about her passing in the paper and my heart sank. Yes, I have sadness and regret that I didn’t make that lunch happen.

 The lesson here is for each of us to take the time to do the things that really matter so we don’t have any regrets. Nothing is more important than spending time with those who have made a difference in our lives. Few things are so urgent that they can’t be put on hold for one more hour or one more day. We live in a world that is too fast-paced and in an attempt to keep up, we forget. We forget to say how much someone means to us. Many people forget to say “I love you.” We forget. For me, going forward, I’m going to make every attempt to DO the things that matter most; to show up fully when I say I will; to be the best person I can be and to engage in the most gracious way I know how. Imagine a world where we all decided to live in grace?

 I feel honored to have known this woman. I feel blessed to have her daughters in my life and I will miss her. She was light and I’m sure her light will shine always.

Change doesn’t just happen. Change happens when we DECIDE to make it happen. It might be a simple thing that you need to change to improve your life. Or it might be many things or one massive change, but whatever it is, you have to initiate the change. Deciding is the most difficult part. And then accepting that things can be different. So today, figure out what needs to change in order to make your life better. And then decide that you are going to be the force behind the change. 

 Life was not easy for Sandy Garfinkel. After reading the story, it is clear that he had financial challenges, a history of substance abuse; was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child; and suffered from bipolar disorder as an adult. When his wife was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease he became her caregiver. With the physical and mental challenges Sandy faced in his daily life, the addition of caregiving was more than he could bear. He admits that he wasn’t a good caregiver and that he was totally overwhelmed. He tried to take his own life after killing his wife, but he failed. He also admits to refusing help from family members who had offered to help him!

So why share this story with you? It is one more example of why you cannot and should not try and do caregiving alone. It is one more poignant example of why you MUST learn to become empowered in your role. It is one more example of why you need to reach out and ask or accept help when it is offered. What glory is there in losing your life because you have said YES to caregiving or because it was thrust upon you? What good can come of living a life that is out of balance; a life that is wrought with sadness, isolation and frustration?

Caregiving is a journey and it can last for years. It must be planned. It must be discussed. It must be acknowledged. You must be clear about what you can and cannot do both physically and emotionally. And you have to honor your own limitations. I don’t care if you think you’re as strong as Mother Theresa…even she had help (and lots of it.) She had support around her constantly, because she knew that in order to do her best work, she had to have help.  What do you need in order to do your best work? What do you need in order to show up every day and be the best you can be? What do you need? The day I figured that out, my whole world changed.

There are so many lessons for us in Sandy Garfinkel’s story. It would be easy to brush him off as an inconsequential casualty of caregiving or life for that matter. It would be easier to just ignore his story altogether. But I ask you today…what can we learn from a story of desperation? What happens if you stop caring for yourself? What if you never take the time to reach out and ask for help? What if your caregiving journey becomes one of desperation? What lessons are to be learned from Sandy Garfinkel? 

I made this video for you and I hope in some small way it touches you. 

“If only you had (fill in the blank) what would happen?”  When I ask this question there is either silence on the end of the phone or some amount of stammering. Somehow when we are asked the one poignant question that forces us to really look at our life situation, we don’t have an answer. This is because it’s so easy to get stuck in the “If Only” scenario.

 Does your life look like Groundhog Day? Is it the same, day in and day out? Do you dwell in the “if onlys”? Here’s the thing: the “if onlys” are never going away unless YOU make a decision to change what isn’t working. It’s that simple. When I get stuck in the “if only” dialogue in my head, I have to force myself to get comfortable with what is uncomfortable. Human beings like to be comfortable and our brain is really good at tricking us into staying comfortable; even if the comfort causes us pain. Whatever it is that we are accustomed to is the place that our brain (or ego) feels the best. Change is disruptive, but it’s disruptive for a reason. We are meant to evolve and grow and when we become complacent our ego is very happy – even if you aren’t.

 I also hear people talking about their dilemma. There is a big difference between having a dilemma and making a decision. Dilemmas are an excuse to fret, but decisions force us to decide to do something differently. Decisions force us out of our comfort  zone and we all like to be comfortable. But what if making a decision to do one thing differently actually changed the way you felt about your role as a caregiver? What if stepping out of “the box” was the first step towards getting a handle on your personal situation? What if making a decision actually made a difference?

I’d like you to try something today. Make a list of all the things that are causing problems for you. Be very specific as you list them. Just write. After you make your list; use another sheet of paper and put them in order from the most troubling to the least troubling. I’m pretty sure you will see a trend. Perhaps it’s that you haven’t set any boundaries. Maybe you have no help and you are trying to do everything alone. Maybe you’re a “fixer” and you can’t fix what is wrong. There will be a trend.  Once you’ve made the list, take a break…give yourself credit…and go about your day. Tomorrow come back to the list and DECIDE to make one change. It doesn’t have to be big; it just has to be something. When I first became a caregiver, I thought I had to give up my life to care for this person. I didn’t, but that’s what I thought. My decision was to ask for help. I was terrified to admit that I couldn’t do this alone. But I asked and I got the help I needed and I felt a new sense of freedom, which had eluded me for months. The result of this was that I got my life back and consequently, I was a better caregiver!

 So for today, just make a decision to do something differently. And let me know how it works for you. If you are really struggling with this process, you might want to consider having a FREE  Breakthrough Session with me. I promise you will emerge from your FREE session with clarity and the courage to make a CHANGE!