As months or years go by, the senior’s medical condition will inevitably change. You must decide if you are going to share all medical news as it comes along. This decision should be based on many factors:
- Is the senior mentally capable of comprehending medical information?
- Is the senior capable of emotionally processing medical information, especially if it isn’t good news?
- Is the senior’s functionality going to change? And if so, how much?
- Is the senior’s routine going to change?
- Will new doctors or medical procedures be involved in the care process?
- Is pain going to be associated with the change?
- Will there be new medical protocols?
Each of these questions must be addressed before your decision is made. If the change is going to be minor, sometimes it is best keep information to yourself. You should discuss the medical change with the doctor and determine together what is in the best interests of the senior. Sometimes it’s best to assume the burden yourself in an effort to avoid worrying the senior. Seniors have a lot of down time and their minds tend to wander to the darkest places of fear and worry.
If you are dealing with a senior who is fully cognizant, but ignores doctors’ orders (especially when it comes to taking medications), you will have to be firm. Begin with gentle coaxing. Chances are good that your efforts will be met with a smile, an acknowledgement of what you want done, and a thank you for caring. Once you are gone, the senior does whatever he/she wants to do.
This is when you need to play “hard ball.” If the senior is simply being stubborn about the new medical protocol, you have to step in.
- Determine what the senior’s goals are. Ask. You may not like the answer, but in order to have an intelligent conversation, you must ask the question.
- Let the senior know exactly what is going to happen, physically or emotionally, if the protocol isn’t followed. (For example: “If you don’t take your Lasix, your ankles will swell, your edema will worsen, and the fluid will back up in your body, causing your breathing to become labored.) You will have done your research prior to this conversation so that you can speak intelligently to the issue.
- If you don’t get your point across, or the senior’s behavior becomes more stubborn, you might need to ask for the assistance of the doctor. An amazing thing happens when you mention the doctor. This is a generation that believes in the sanctity of the doctor. Their word is “gold.”
There is only so much you can do. There is only so much responsibility you can bear and, if the senior does not change, then you should leave it alone, explore all your options, walk away, and broach the subject at another time.
Caring for one’s self is a sign of mental well being. If all signs are indicating that the senior is not caring for his/her home, personal hygiene, nutrition, and medical care, this might be a time to consider bringing in some outside help to assist you.
